I want my news media back!

28Apr11

I am SO. OVER. this wedding (despite the fact that I’m covering it tomorrow for Columbia News Tonight). I’ve been avoiding TV news all week long, even my beloved “Nightline,” because all the mouth-breathing coverage just makes me mad. I started maxxing out in January when, while flipping channels in search of a morning show (WHY do they all go to commercial AT THE SAME TIME?), “Good Morning America” ran a complete non-story speculating on where the bridal party might stay the night before the wedding. Annoying.

But this morning I started to crack a little bit on my TV-news boycott, and turned on “Morning Joe” just for fun. Whereupon my face just about melted off, Indiana-Jones style. Fast-forward this clip to 12:45 and watch the madness unfold; apologies for the jankified setup (WordPress is giving me fits with embed codes tonight. #nerdalert).

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036789/ns/msnbc_tv-morning_joe/#42796686

Okay, ready? Let’s overlook the fact that the reason said press conference even had to happen was because the media continually fanned the Trump flames (check this out re: how stupid he thinks we all are); the absolute crush of microphones and photogs awaiting him yesterday after the president’s announcement should be enough evidence of that. Instead, let’s focus on the show that’s been BROADCASTING FROM LONDON all week telling us that we should really, you know, probably pay more attention to Afghanistan.

So, my eyes were bleeding. But then, THEN!, back over at GMA, the broadcast led with 15 minutes on the tornadoes in the south, the obvious lead (Brian Williams gets it), before attempting to bridge it to Robin Roberts anchoring their London coverage with, “Hey Robin, you’re from Mississippi, how do you feel about this?” followed by a split-screen of SIX live correspondents located all over the city. As if the crazy tornado destruction weren’t enough, Bieber forbid there’s a horrific national tragedy here at home tomorrow, because we’ll probably have virtually nobody to tell us about it.

Or is that really just the way we want it? News outlets wouldn’t be spending this time — and money! The MONEY! For someone who keeps hearing about how broke her industry is, THE. MONEY. — to provide this wall-to-wall insanity if they didn’t think we wanted it. I couldn’t even escape it over at Vh-1, where I’ve spent most of my mornings this week, as they intercut music videos with a collection of soundbytes from celebrities on various red carpets about THEIR thoughts on the wedding. A contingent of my beloved New Kids made an appearance, but most poignant was David Alan Grier, who said something along the lines of (I couldn’t find the clip), “I’d rather read about Kim Kardashian and her cellulite…this is our royalty, America.” What he didn’t add, but was written all over his face as he stared into the camera, was, “You’ve created this. Now live with it.”

My feelings about this whole thing are pretty complicated. Sure, I’m pretty much a love nihilist, but I generally like most weddings and the inevitable insanity they tend to inspire. And while the Mario Testino engagement portrait makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, and despite the fact that I can’t get away from it (emails awaiting me in my inbox this morning: “In-stores only: Be King for a Day with 40% off!” and “30% Off Royal Wedding-Worthy Dresses!”), I just cannot get into this thing. To borrow from Prince William himself, it makes me feel sort of “hollow,” maybe because it really feels kind of smarmy. This week’s New Yorker cover sums it all up nicely; even if they have “asked for this” or “known what they’re getting into,” at some point, is all our panting going to actually destroy the day for the people it’s (allegedly) revolving around? In the end (and as it usually is), is it really all about US?

The Tea Party says this all the time in reference to the country (maybe it got sucked into the vortex that is my coffee table), but I’m going to apply it to the media: I want my news back! I want information and understanding and context and thoughtfulness and meaning and emotion. I don’t want three dresses and six hairstylists and “EVERY OUTFIT SHE’S EVER WORN” (are you KIDDING me?!) and birthers or any of that. I’m facing a near-six-figure debt and genuinely worried about whether I’m going to remain financially solvent. And I know I’m not the only one, simply by virtue that I don’t have any other responsibilities that need food and clothing and health insurance.

Don’t you think it’s time to evaluate what we expect of our media? It’s the only way to change what they give us in return. Let’s do some of that in the inevitable hangover/wedding withdrawal period that happens this weekend as we crash back to our miserable American lives (isn’t that the root cause of all this royal escapism?) and realize that we’ll never have that life, so we should probably stop spending so much energy on it. And focus it instead on things like, you know, Afghanistan.

Reading Recommendations:

The Evolution of the Princess Myth, from Disney to Diana to Kate (The Atlantic)

Five Reasons to Hate the Royal Wedding (Time)

Don’t Let’s Watch the Royal Wedding (The New Yorker)

#HistoryLesson: A.J. Liebling (@columbiajourn alum) on Queen Elizabeth’s 1947 wedding (The New Yorker)